This is going to be complicated. Also mysticism and personal experiences ahead. Proceed at your own risk.
I went to Ireland six months ago, and its been a time of transition and refocusing since then.
I don't tend to always share a lot of really deep personal stuff, for various reasons, including worry about how my experiences will be perceived. I've been reflecting a lot on that lately, but its kind of a side issue. People in my life have asked what's going on with me spiritually and I've mentioned that I'm working on processing a lot of things. I wrote a bit about the more spiritual side of my trip last year after I'd come back in my blog Muddy Boots or Setting My Feet on the Path and that did show that things had taken an unexpected turn. I'm sure people who read my blog have noticed a shift in what I write about, and that also is a bit indicative as I always write about whatever is interesting me at the moment.
I went to Ireland, considering myself someone who was very focused on the Daoine Eile but who was also largely a polytheist working on honoring the Gods and doing their work as best I could. I had been dedicated to Odin for a decade within a Heathen context and was dedicated to Macha, and had a strong relationship with the Morrigan and Badb as well. Not to mention the other Gods I regularly honored. The entire point of the Ireland trip was a pilgrimage to honor the Morrigan. If I had to give numbers to things I would have said my practice broke down to like 55% Othercrowd, 45% Gods and 10% ancestors. The Good People were what gave everything cohesion and held the diversity of my practices together, but they were still only a portion.
I wrote about it in the blog linked above, so I'll spare you the tl;dr re-hashing but it changed everything, while simultaneously not changing things. My personal experience of that trip was entirely Daoine Sí focused. There are some details I haven't told many people before, although these are things a few people are aware of or became aware of separately. That doesn't entirely matter. On the dark moon in October, in Uaimh na gCat I saw the sí of Cruachan open and I had an aisling there. Not of the Morrigan, which is what I had expected, but of a different Queen, from Elsewhere. The next night at Tlachtga in ritual I was named a priestess of the aos sí, a title I chose to accept. This has had some repercussions which I'm still sorting out.
Upon arriving home I was fairly seriously ill for several months with respiratory infections that just wouldn't quit. During this period everything has shifted to focus on the aos sí. That may not sound like a big shift for me, but it really is; its profound. Odin, after 10 years of dedication, severed my oaths to himself, which was a really difficult thing for me. I currently have no clear idea of where I stand with Macha, and while I don't think that's come to an end, it feels different now. The Gods in general still feel present but not nearly as immediately as they always have. For the first time in over 25 years the gods, in one form or another, by one name or another, are not a significant aspect of my daily or even general spirituality. Those numbers I mentioned before? They've shifted at this point to something closer to 90% Othercrowd, 5% Gods, 5% ancestors. That's a seismic shift for me and I feel like I'm floundering trying to find a balance with it.
The Tuatha Dé Danann are among the aos sí, and that's a layer of complication I'm still sorting out. Because its not simple or straightforward. As an animist I've always seen the Gods as just a powerful type of spirit, and I still think that is so, yet this is showing me there is also a distinction here, almost a tribal division going on somewhere dividing groups of spirits, of Gods from not-Gods. Of Aesir from alfar. I haven't sorted it all out yet, and honestly I think it's going to be a slow process as I feel my way along. Because as I mentioned the Gods aren't gone, its just that my relationship to them has changed.
What I do know is that I'm in service to a Fairy Queen, and have been since last Samhain. And that's something new I have to figure out as well. At the time she didn't tell me her name, only that I wasn't to cut my hair anymore (yay for personal geasa). I thought I had figured out who she was over the last six months, but I was wrong. She finally did tell me her name and she is someone I know literally almost nothing about, which if you know me you'll know is pretty unnerving for me. But there's been independent confirmation from two sources - friends who I trust and who are talented with psychic things, although they may not phrase it that way - who described her and told me details about her without my telling them anything about what was going on, so its hard for me not to trust this.
So that's where I'm at. Moving forward one step at a time, doing what I've always done and trying to rely on both academic resources and mysticism to see me though. I've let go of a lot of labels recently which has been an enormously difficult thing. Labels, in there own way, are an aspect of self-definition, so letting go of those words has been a process of letting go of pieces of myself that don't fit any more.
Still a witch. A priestess of the Good People. No idea about any of the rest of it.